COPYRIGHT@GERRYROSE

Sue had been feeling a bit low since the programme on Hove Actually Radio. She was annoyed with herself. She should not have allowed Gemma to gain the upper hand. Sue had always considered herself a shit magnet and had taken a break from internet dating too. She had been focussing on her passion for Improv and Drama. Her drama friends were a diverse mixture of older people. The Improv crowd were much younger and she always felt quite brave every time she attended a course. There was always plenty to do in Brighton and Hove. She felt lucky to live in a place where all sorts of arts thrived. She managed to fill every day with things which distracted her and stopped her feeling that she was at risk of getting lonelier the older she grew. Sue was aware that whenever the idea of loneliness was raised, the images that were used to illustrate it were usually of miserable looking older women. She found herself observing very old people in the street and worrying that one day she would be that old woman bent like a hairpin, or the very frail woman struggling to walk with her wheeled walker. Sue wished she had an expiry date and would prefer if there was a pain free dignified manner to exit this world when you wanted to. She had seen too many people suffering when she was a Community Matron. She wished that people who were anti-euthanasia would spend a week visiting people who had Motor Neurone Disease and other degenerative conditions.
Her experience of working with older people had been one of the reasons why she had bought a retirement flat. She felt proactive and thought it was better to plan ahead for old age instead of leaving it to the last minute or when a crisis had already occurred. She had seen this happen to her patients. She hoped that these complexes would be full of people like herself. She knew that they attracted single older women and men. She hoped that she would find that there was a sense of community. The flats were comfortable and it was reassuring to know that there was a warden on hand. There were call bells, so if she had a fall or a medical emergency, help would be available. It was not a care home but a sort of half way house. Looking back she should have visited several times in order to get a sense of who actually lived there.
However, once she had moved in she quickly realised that she had been wearing her rose tinted spectacles when she viewed Seagull House. On reflection she felt that the name of the complex was pretty apt, as there always appeared to be someone squawking about something or other, stealing stuff and generally being nuisances. No one to date had raided the bins but that was probably inevitable. There were very few people like her and she had to fight to maintain her boundaries with some of the residents. One resident called Dick seemed to have got wind of her internet dating. She had been avoiding engaging with him and had not been to the Sunday afternoon tea sessions in the communal lounge for the last few months. Dick was definitely a chancer and his hobby was hardly going to inspire anyone. Who wanted a man who played the mouth organ in their life? She knew she certainly didn’t and was glad that his flat was not close to hers as some residents complained about the noise. Dick was just another man who lacked self-awareness and really thought that a woman who was looking for a man, would think that he was worth a chance. Sue did not blame him, there were too many women who were willing to settle for whatever came their way. Any man was better than no one, seemed to be their philosophy. She had not reached the age of 61 having resisted better men than Dick all her life, only to fall for this total loser. Shit magnet or not, she was not going to allow Dick to attach himself to her. Another resident called Gwen, seemed to be like one of those trap door spiders, the moment Sue opened her door Gwen seemed to appear. Sue did not want to encourage Gwen. Gwen was obviously lonely, but despite being a fundamentally kind person, Sue was not going to become Gwen’s befriender. Sue knew there were plenty of organisations who were set up to find volunteers for people like Gwen. Sue felt that Gwen had the potential of being an emotional vampire. Sue had been in a caring profession all her working life, in her retirement she felt she should avoid being too caring and look after herself and indulge her passions.
Then there was Alice. Alice was probably the oldest resident and had lived at Seagull House for 25 years. Sue imagined the spritely 60 year old Alice moving in and enjoying her new flat and making friends and getting the most out of her little patch of the garden which she had cultivated. Unfortunately, Alice now had dementia and had taken to hitting other residents and if they left their doors open she would walk in and steal their property. Alice had become very aggressive with Gwen and Dick. Sue had some empathy for Alice, but then she tried to attack Sue. Sue made a formal complaint to the management committee. She was waiting to hear what was going to be done about Alice. Sue felt that if the management committee did not act she would have no choice but to approach the Police. She knew they would try and say it was a civil matter, but Sue was not prepared to tolerate the fear of assault in her home.
Then there were parking space wars! Sue had a cheap, runaround car and parked it at the back of the car park. Some residents wanted the prized places which were close to the front door. The less able residents did not want to have to walk very far. There was 1 resident who was also called Sue who was a fit 56 year old but who liked to bag the parking spot next to the front door. She rarely used her car and therefore the closest parking space was invariably always taken. She used to get notes put under her windscreen wipers on a daily basis. Some people thought she was the nasty selfish parking Sue. She had suggested that the management committee assigned some bays as parking for the disabled but to date nothing had been done about this either. Sue faced a dilemma about her flat. On the one hand it was in a very convenient location for buses and shops. It was cheap, but the other issues that came with living there were beginning to get her down. She tended to spend very little time at home as a consequence. Sue had always known that her life was not a simple one. She always felt that there were obstacles in her path. She used to view some people with envious eyes. Some people did appear to lead charmed lives. However Sue did know that all that glisters was not gold. Many people struggled with life and some just lied about their lives. Sue was an honest person and was always upfront about her life. Sue did not do self-pity and always tried to find ways of dealing with her struggles. She was often described as being stoical. Sue felt that made her sound a little hard, but she would rather be stoical than neurotic and needy.
One morning she was surprised to receive a text from an unknown number.
‘Hi Sue, this is Jilly. We met at Babs’ party earlier in the year.’
Sue remembered meeting Jilly the lady who had moved from Norfolk. She was stunning.
‘Hi Jilly, yes I remember you. How nice of you to contact me. Are you ok?’
‘Yes Sue I would like to meet with you as there is something that I would like to talk to you about, which would be better to discuss face to face. Do you fancy meeting at Tea Leaf?’
Sue was intrigued. The common link between Jilly and her was Babs. She wondered if Babs was ill or something. Babs was about 12 years older than her, she knew that women in their 70’s, can be fine one day and then something happens and they are not. She had not seen Babs for several months. She noticed that Babs’ Meetup group had gone a bit quiet. That was how things went at times. She had sent Babs a WhatsApp message to see if she was ok about a month ago and noticed that her message had not been read.
She was dismayed when Jilly suggested that they met for a coffee in the Portland Road. Sue did not want to run the risk of bumping into Alan and Rhona again.
‘Jilly lets meet in George Street. I like the coffee at Italia, it is a family run place which also does delicious food, if we decide to grab lunch.’
Jilly had agreed and a date was set for Friday 1st December at 11 o’clock.
Sue wondered why Jilly wanted to see her. She would just have to wait to find out.