AN ILL WIND?

copyright@gerryrose

  Bad news always travels fast it seems. Ying’s text to Jenny as she sat eating her panini in the Salvage café was hard to come to terms with. Bob was dead. He had a massive heart attack shortly after posting the nasty review about her cleaning job. Ying had received a message from Marsha informing her of Bob’s death and asking her to respect her privacy. She gave Ying permission to inform members of the book club. Ying being Ying, didn’t respect Marsha’s privacy and turned up at the house in Hove Park only to find someone called Tara was there, she told Ying to go away and stay away. Jenny could tell that Ying was put out by this. Ying liked to think that she was an expert in all things to do with anything that involved the emotions. Jenny would not want Ying turning up on her doorstep either. Jenny knew that some people liked to feed off the misery of others in order to make themselves feel better. Some people just love a bit of drama and want to become part of the story. Jenny had texted Marsha to give her condolences, but whilst her message on WhatsApp was delivered it had not been read. Jenny could not even begin to imagine what Marsha was going through.

 Jenny focused on cleaning Harry’s flat. Every time she turned her phone on, there were messages from people who seemed to have got her mobile number off Neighbour Nextdoor. She was in demand for cleaning jobs which involved kinky stuff. She had no idea what this might involve. Bob had done her an enormous favour by posting his negative review. Her name was out there now. She responded to all of the messages and had 15 assessments booked in over the following week. 

 She worked methodically through Harry’s flat and by day 3 she had achieved most of the goals. She was particularly proud of Harry’s bathroom. The limescale growth in the lavatory had disappeared and she left a bottle of Harpic next to it so Harry would keep on top of the limescale. The bath was stain free. The bathroom carpet was clean and odour free. The basin was gleaming and the whole room just looked and most importantly smelled so much better. She had managed to get Harry’s white towels to look white too. The tiles were sparkling.

 She attacked the kitchen on day 4 and got rid of the sticky grime which had clung to the floor, counter and cupboards. She had worked out that Harry’s extractor fan had never been properly cleaned and like many extractor fans was designed to pull the steam from boiling a saucepan and fat from frying etc up into either pads or metal grills. This sort of fan was never that effective and relied on regular changes of pad or cleaning of the metal grills as otherwise the grease etc would just circulate and cling to whatever surface in the kitchen that if managed to land on.

 By day 5 she had achieved everything that she needed to in Harry’s flat. She had even completely rearranged his cupboard in the hall. She had found a set of drawers in there which contained some very dusty tennis balls, a rugby ball, a bowling ball and a set of very dirty boules. She gave them all a good clean and soon they were at their very best. She felt quite proud of what she had achieved. Harry’s flat was transformed. She had found the job was a welcome distraction to her guilt about Bob.

 Harry returned and was full of praise for her work. He posted another lovely review on Neighbour Nextdoor but perhaps his comments were a little odd and open to misinterpretation.

‘My flat has been transformed after Jenny Likes Dirt has done a deep clean. The growth in my lavatory has disappeared. My bath no longer looks like I have dismembered an animal in there. As I lie in my bed tonight on my pristine stain free sheets I will think about her. She has found some dirty stuff that I had forgotten about. She even got into my drawers and gave them a good going over. My balls are gleaming!’

 The texts about kinky cleans seemed to escalate after this. Jenny wondered what she would encounter on her assessment visits and thought that she should really find someone to accompany her. She felt a bit cheeky, but messaged Harry and explained her predicament. He was very gallant and was more than happy to accompany her after she told him about some of the messages she had received. One message from Simon in Portslade was of concern.

‘Jenny would you consider doing a naked clean for me? I would really like to watch you as you bent down to wipe my skirting boards. Would it be ok to touch your nipples as you raise your arm to dust my shelves with my feather duster? I am willing to pay £100 per hour.’

She forwarded that one to Harry and he reckoned she should insist on a chaperone if she accepted the job.

 Bill of Hangleton was clearly excited by the thought of her cleaning his flat.

‘Jenny would you clean my flat which I must admit is pretty grim. I would be grateful if you could smack me for being such a dirty boy. I have my own cane which you could use. I like to dress up as Just William I hope that is ok. I am happy to pay £50 per hour.’

 Jenny’s running away fund was definitely going to grow quickly at this rate. She was grateful that Tim never used any form of social media. She did think that her kinky cleaning might be hard to hide. She worked out that she wouldn’t have to do it for long and she would just have to be very discreet and not tell anyone apart from Harry. She wouldn’t dare tell Ying. She had the feeling that the days of the book club were numbered. She wondered what would become of Marsha now. She had no evidence, but she did not think that Marsha would be able to stay in Bob’s house now he was dead. She had the feeling that Bob’s son would be the main beneficiary of Bob’s will. Bob was the sort of man who made sure that his affairs were in order.

 Jenny felt sorry for Marsha. She remembered when she first met her. Marsha had recently married Bob and was new to Hove Park. They met at an event at the school. Marsha looked like a fish out of water. Jenny had felt sorry for her and had started chatting to her. They were polar opposites and when Jenny first visited Marsha’s home which Bob had given her carte blanche to renovate, Jenny felt envious of her. Jenny realised the tables had turned.

 As another kinky request pinged up on her phone she had a thought. It’s an ill wind that blows nobody any good. No one knows what is around the corner and for that we must surely be grateful.