copyright@ Gerry Rose

 No one called her Barbara these days, she was always Babs. She had moved to Brighton from the east end of London at the age of 20 and had never thought about living anywhere else. She moved to Hove when she got divorced and felt that she needed to start afresh. Babs didn’t want to keep bumping into Bob her ex, when popping to the local Sainsbury for a pint of milk. There were very few items in her house which were reminders of her other life. Some people find it hard to let go, but she found it cathartic. Getting rid of her past life and lifestyle was tremendously freeing. She had a blank canvas on which to paint a completely new life. Babs knew she was lucky, she had a good pension and a nice pot of savings, mostly her share from the sale of the family home. By downsizing and buying in the cheaper Poets’ Corner area ten years ago, she had made the most of her money.

 Living near the sea was right for her and she made the most of her leisure time. Her latest hobby was paddle boarding. Her Meetup group which had a fine dining arm, meant she could have company in the evenings and she was always keen to find new places to eat in the city. She was a keen runner which was a clever way of ensuring that the dining club didn’t expand her waistline. On the surface she had it all, but there were times when she longed to have someone to love and be loved by. It would be the icing on the cake. However, despite trying out internet dating and the odd holiday romance, she had not found love. She often cursed the way the story books of her childhood had filled her head with expectations. She had put too much trust in fairy tales. She had always known that she was more like an ugly sister than Cinderella. She did not possess long silky locks preferring a short spiky look. She was no sleeping beauty either, as she had suffered from insomnia as long as she could remember and was told that she snored. Plain girls never get Prince Charming in the books or life.

 The men who came to the dining club were lucky, Brighton and Hove was full of interesting and successful women. Most of the females who attended were attractive. A new man was quickly made the centre of attention. It didn’t take long before the women realised that the new man was no catch, but was used to punching above his weight. He was usually quickly put in his place. Babs often told people that she could fill every room in her house in Poets’ Corner with attractive 60 something women who were solvent, dressed well and were in good shape, who still had, or had retired from successful careers. They were highly capable achievers and had led interesting, fulfilling lives. They were also fun to be with. She repeated on many occasions that she would struggle to fill her bathroom with the equivalent men. What was a woman to do? Babs had concluded some time ago that it was best to do the things that made you happy. She cultivated good friendships with women and she had male friends too. She kept an open mind, if love found her, then that would be great but she certainly didn’t think that a woman needed a man to complete her. She had lots of married friends and she knew only too well that not many of them were happily married.

 Tonight, they were off to Ciao in Hove, a restaurant which specialised in Italian Tapas. Who even knew there was such a thing. Thank heavens her old friend Trish was coming. She had taken Trish’s advice and made some name cards and that way she would always ensure that she had the most interesting members closest to her. There had to be some perk for being the organiser.

 Several of her more interesting members were coming tonight. Harry had signed up, he was ok, he was easy on the eye, a little bit into himself and was always keen to mention his much younger girlfriend who lived in New York. Maria was coming and she was known to be somewhat contrary and was no shrinking violet. There were two new members joining them, Jilly and Timothy. Jilly’s profile confirmed again that Brighton and Hove was a magnet for women who whilst they were divorced, they were not all bitter. Jilly’s intro on her profile was very upbeat and her photo gave the impression of an attractive, if not a little serious looking woman. She didn’t sound desperate to find a man and gushed about wanting to meet like-minded women and men as she was a very new resident of Hove, having moved from Norfolk. Babs thought moving from Norfolk to Hove sounded like a wise move to her.  Timothy was a widower, from the photograph she would say he was early 70s, a bit of an Alan Wicker look alike, neat and a tad boring looking, he had moved from a village in Devon to be near his daughter in Hove. Another wise move. His profile said that he wanted to start having fun in his life again and joining the Retired from work but not from life Meetup was a good way of meeting new people and enjoying all that Brighton and Hove had to offer.

 Babs had originally started the fine dining arm to her Meetup group in the hope that fine dining would attract some interesting men who were solvent, but she became quickly disillusioned. Now she just enjoyed the company and the food and it was better than sitting alone at home binge watching series on Netflix.

 Everyone knew Bab’s mantra ‘Where the hell are all of the mature, single, attractive, solvent, intelligent and sane men in Hove?’ No one believed that by repeating this Babs would conjure them up. Trish used to say it was not a mantra and should be rephrased as, ’there are no mature, single, attractive, solvent, intelligent and sane men in Hove.’ Trish believed that you could find mature men, single men, attractive men, solvent men, sane men in Hove, but there was no one who possessed all of these attributes.

 Babs always liked to get to the restaurant 15mins before everyone had been told to arrive. This would enable her to put the name cards out. Trish would sit on her left and she had placed Jilly to her right. She put Timothy to the left of Trish. Trish disliked Harry, so she placed Maria next to Timothy and Harry would sit to the left of Maria. Maria was a French flirt and Babs found it entertaining to watch her tease and flatter Harry, who usually became hot under the collar and would keep mentioning Sadie in New York. Babs had already briefed Trish to interview Timothy and find out all about him. Trish and Babs loved finding out people’s back stories.

 Babs saw a woman enter the restaurant. She waved to her, instantly recognising that this was Jilly. Jilly strode across the restaurant with the confidence of someone who knew they were elegant and attractive.

‘Hello Jilly, I’m Babs. Welcome to Brighton and Hove Fine Dining, part of Retired from work but not from life.’

Jilly was wearing a beautifully tailored black trouser suit with an immaculate cream silk blouse underneath. Her blonde hair just grazed her collar and not one hair was out of place.

‘Babs, it is so lovely to meet you and thank you for allowing me to join.’

Babs always wished she could speak with a classy English accent. She knew that people often assumed she was a bit thick by the way she spoke. She had always used this assumption to her advantage when working. She didn’t think Jilly came over as superior which was just as well. She hoped Jilly wouldn’t find the company too boring tonight.

‘It is always great to have new members, I have put you close to me and Trish. We’ll look after you. Where do you live?’

‘I moved to Poet’s Corner 6 weeks ago.’

‘Hey that’s where I live, which street?’

‘Coleridge Street’

‘I live in Wordsworth two roads away. Did you drive here?’

‘No, I took a taxi so I could have some wine.’

‘A woman after my own heart, but let’s get the bus home and save your pennies.’

‘Gosh, I haven’t been on a bus for at least twenty years!’

‘Goodness me!’

‘Where I lived in Norfolk, there were only two buses a day in my village.’

‘Welcome to Brighton and Hove, a city with a fantastic network of bus routes. I warn you though if you ever meet a woman called Betty who comes to these groups, whatever you do never mention buses to her! Oh, here comes another member.’

 Harry strode in, he too had the confidence of someone who still made heads turn. Babs saw him giving Jilly the once over. Babs thought they would make a striking couple.

‘Jilly let me introduce you to Harry. Harry, Jilly has just moved to Hove from Norfolk.’

Harry gallantly bowed and shook Jilly’s hand. Babs could see that Harry had spotted the name cards

‘Harry I am using name cards now, it ensures that members of the dining club don’t sit next to the same people all of the time.’

Babs saw the colour almost instantly drain from Harry’s face, once he saw that he had been placed next to Maria. Maria arrived and greeted everyone she knew. She removed a black cashmere coat to reveal a black figure-hugging dress with a stunning silver necklace.

Babs introduced her to Jilly. Babs noticed Maria give Jilly a look which she interpreted as ‘here is a rival’. Maria of course was charming and looked very pleased with the new name cards idea as she settled next to Harry.

Trish almost stumbled through the door. Babs guessed that Trish had been out to lunch earlier in the day and was probably a little drunk. Babs did feel that perhaps one day soon Trish might grow up, but meanwhile she was great fun to be with.

‘Hi, Trish you know Harry and Maria but here is our latest member Jilly.’

Babs could see that whilst she remained very gracious, Jilly did not quite approve of Trish. Trish was the polar opposite to Jilly. Jilly exuded elegance and charm and looked immaculate, whilst Trish just looked untidy. At this point a rather whiskery dishevelled man entered the restaurant. Babs was surprised when the man approached her and introduced himself as Timothy. The man that stood before her was not the same man from the Meetup profile. This was Catweazle surely! What had happened to Alan Wicker? She quickly swallowed her shock and welcomed him and introduced him to the others. Babs saw Jilly was quite repulsed and checked the name cards to ensure that this decrepit creature was no where near her. Trish seemed totally unphased and shook his hand warmly. He took off his coat to reveal a shirt which had not been ironed. Babs knew that anything went in Brighton but didn’t feel that Maria, Harry or Jilly were ready to embrace that ethos. Babs always wore her smart jeans, or black trousers and a nice evening top to these events with interesting earrings. She saw the dismay on Maria’s face when she realised Timothy was on her right. Babs knew that poor Timothy would most likely be ignored by Maria who would have an even better incentive to monopolise Harry.

Once everyone was seated Babs did her customary introduction.

‘Hi, everyone, I know most of you. I am Babs, can we just go around the table and introduce ourselves please. It is always good to know how long you have lived in Brighton and Hove and what your hobbies are. I lived in Brighton for 20 years but following my divorce I moved to Hove. I have lived here just over 10 years. My hobbies are running and paddle boarding.’

Harry jumped in.

‘Hi, I am Harry I have lived in Hove actually for the last 15 years since my divorce. My hobbies are cycling and the gym. Oh and my girlfriend Sadie who lives in New York. I am still doing a bit of coaching and I am a Psychotherapist.’

Maria went next.

‘Hello, I am Maria and like Harry I am also a part-time Psychotherapist. I have lived in Hove for just over 6 years. My hobbies are sketching with charcoal and pencil. I also like walking on the downs.’

Babs nudged Trish who looked like she was about to fall asleep.

‘Hello, I am Trish and I like eating, drinking and talking and sometimes I do all 3 at the same time which is somewhat unwise. I am a semi-retired journalist and these days I am reduced to writing about products which elderly people need, for a magazine which is targeted at old codgers like me! I have lived here over 30 years.’

Babs was seriously thinking of dropping these introductions at her dining group because to be honest they were repetitive and dull, but it did mean that people had an opener for a conversation with the people around the table. That was the theory anyway. Timothy went next. He had a somewhat loud booming voice as if he had lived in a large house for most of his life and was used to shouting across vast empty spaces.

‘I am Timothy, I am a recent widower. My wife of 50 years died in August last year. We did everything together. I moved here in January to be near my lovely daughter and she has encouraged me to get out and about and meet people and have fun. I used to enjoy dancing with my wife but that can’t happen anymore.’

 Babs was thinking that the last thing Timothy was having was fun. He was in her opinion one of those men who were sort of clueless. It was obvious that his wife had reminded him to go to the barber and get his hair, beard, eyebrows, ears and nose hairs trimmed. Since his wife had died this man could hardly function. He clearly didn’t know what an iron did and he was stick thin. His daughter was trying hard to prop him up and encourage him, but she was probably about 40 and was struggling with her own family.

 Jilly was next. Babs was again so envious of her honeyed tones. Everyone was tuned into her. Babs thought she saw Maria give Jilly a look which looked a little green with envy.

‘I am Jilly and I moved to Hove 6 weeks ago from a tiny village in Norfolk. I will be looking for some work, I used to work as a frame advisor in a London gallery. I like to do water colours in my spare time. I am also interested in interior design.’

 Babs saw that Harry was hanging on Jilly’s every word.

‘Ok everyone that’s the formal part over, now lets order some drinks and nibbles and decide on the tapas. I don’t think anyone here has any allergies so we can order dishes to share.’

 The waiter took their order for drinks. Jilly, Babs and Trish would share a bottle of white wine and Marie, Harry and Timothy would have red.  When the white wine arrived Babs poured Jilly and Trish a glass. Yet again Trish looked like she might drop off to sleep any moment.

 Once his glass was charged Timothy turned to Trish to start a conversation. Babs could see that Maria was monopolising Harry but Harry was drawing Jilly into the conversation which was about plumbers and other tradespeople.

‘Trish do you have any tips for how to survive living in Brighton and Hove seeing as you’ve lived here an awful long time.’

Trish almost jumped out of her skin. Good, Babs thought, he’ll keep her awake. Trish pondered for a while and then answered.

‘Brighton and Hove might think it is a city, but it is more like a village really. Try not to fall out with anyone because you will keep bumping into them and that can be a little embarrassing.’ Babs didn’t think Timothy was the type who fell out with people. Of course Maria had to put her two penneth worth into the conversation.

‘In my opinion everyone falls out with someone at some point unless they are a doormat, a fool or an ignoramus.’ Babs couldn’t help herself.

‘Tell us how many people you have fallen out with in Brighton and Hove over the last 6 years Maria.’ Maria pondered. Babs detected that Jilly felt a little uncomfortable with this discussion. Jilly struck Babs as the sort of woman who kept her true feelings well under wraps and probably fell out with no one. Maria was ready to reply.

‘Well I would say that I have fallen out with 6 people so far.’ Babs was surprised that the score wasn’t higher.

‘That’s 1 person for every year you have lived here, I don’t consider that a bad innings. Now let’s get down to the important business of ordering our dishes.’

 Babs noticed that Timothy was the sort of man who liked to take charge of the wine and it did not escape her notice that he was drinking at a faster rate than Maria and Harry. Harry was so health conscious that he barely drank. Maria was a very disciplined drinker. Babs knew that Trish would want another bottle of white wine. Jilly was also a disciplined drinker. Babs knew from experience that there were more disagreements at Meetup meals about the wine than anything else. Babs was surprised that Maria was on her best behaviour tonight, it must be because she feels threatened by Jilly. Maria liked to be top dog and be the most elegant woman in the room and tonight she wasn’t.

 The food arrived and the conversation died a bit. The dishes were delicious if not a little small. Babs was pleased to see that Harry had turned his attention to Jilly. Babs still felt that these two would make a lovely couple. Trish was being kind by listening to Timothy’s account of his wonderful marriage. This was probably because she was completely hammered and couldn’t summon up the strength to speak. Maria was concentrating on her food. Babs felt a little sorry for Maria she had always struck Babs as someone who craved the attention of males. She would never describe Maria as a ‘woman’s woman’.  Babs felt that she was doing something important for older people by running this group. Growing older is not easy and all of the research stressed the importance of socialising. Timothy looked really happy to be out and meeting people who were willing to listen to his rather dull stories of his ‘wonderful wife’. Trish was obliging him because she was happy to be out and about too. Babs glanced around the restaurant and saw couples who had nothing to say to each other and young people who were staring at their screens. Trish ordered another bottle of white wine. Timothy drained the bottle of red and seemed disappointed that Harry and Maria did not want to order another. Maria looked annoyed and Babs predicted that there might be a winegate argument when the bill arrived. 

  Babs was wrong, the bill arrived and there were no discussions about who had drunk more wine than another person because Timothy fessed up and said he would pay for the red because he had drunk most of it. Babs was in a bit of a state of shock and the scruffy Timothy went up in her estimation. In all of the years she had been running the dining group this was a first. She wished she had a £1 for every time a man had guzzled most of the red wine and had not offered to pay for it. No wonder some people ordered by the glass. No one argued over the service charge either. They said their farewells. Babs offered to escort Trish to her flat but she was adamant she could manage. Maria was happy to walk with Harry to her bus stop which was near where Harry lived. Babs felt a little sorry for Timothy and invited him to meet her for a coffee the following afternoon. He accepted quite eagerly. Babs walked with Jilly to their bus stop. All in all the evening had gone well. Babs knew that they were lucky, just because they lived alone in Hove, it did not mean that you were destined to remain alone, or be lonely.