JOHN

 The 700-bus stopped fairly close to where John lived on Kingsway. He entered his apartment which overlooked the sea almost opposite The View. It was closed. When John first moved to Hove 2 years ago he had been struck by how few restaurants and bars there were on the Hove seafront. The View provided very little to view when you were inside. John felt the place should be knocked down and rebuilt. He did wonder if the lack of venues on the Hove seafront was quite intentional. Hove liked to maintain a distinct character which was different to Brighton. Brighton was brash and dirty. Hove was mostly elegant and had some class. However there were no cinemas in Hove, so as he was an avid cinema goer he had to venture to Brighton. John refused to visit restaurants and bars in Brighton. He felt the prices were always hiked in order to exploit visitors.

 He picked up Maria’s text. He had wondered if he should have taken the number 1 bus to ensure she got home safely, but he knew Maria would have poo pooed that idea. He liked Maria. She was a good-looking woman, a little too skinny, but she always looked chic and elegant. Her dark hair, dark eyes and pale skin made her look distinctive. He liked her perfect lips. Her signature red lipstick also made her stand out. He knew he was just a little bit in love with Maria, but at 78 he no longer felt that he had very much to offer any woman.

 John went into his bedroom and turned his electric blanket on. Then he poured himself a whisky, a Jameson and settled down to watch the news. He thought about what he was going to do the following day. He would get up at 8am as usual and have breakfast before taking a walk along the seafront. He would stop for a coffee at the Meeting Place by the Peace Statue, or if it was too cold he would go to Sugar Dough and treat himself to one of their cakes. Since moving to Hove John had made a big effort to meet people. He realised after a few weeks that his son was never going to include him in the life he and his wife had built for themselves. When John attended the various dining groups that were available he met more women than men. He often wondered where the older gentlemen in Hove were to be found. He did find a few men in the Neptune pub, he could not describe them as gentlemen and John never was a beer drinker. He did not rate their wine list. He had heard that it was a great venue for live music, but their bands were not really to his taste. He had seen a few older men at the Paris House at the Monday Jazz sessions. These sessions were about the jazz and opportunities to talk to the men who attended did not usually arise.

 John particularly missed his old school friend Godfrey who was still living in Harrogate. They spoke to each other once a week, but it wasn’t the same. Godfrey kept urging him to move back, but John did not feel that you should ever go backwards in life. He felt very disappointed with his son who seemed to be very much under the thumb of his wife. He wished he had realised that his son spent more time out of Brighton than in it. He didn’t realise that his daughter-in-law’s parents called the shots. John felt that he was just a bit of a nuisance to his son. He hated self-pity. He tried to feel grateful for the life he had made for himself in Hove. He was going to a Meetup group the following night. It was a fine dining group and John enjoyed experiencing new restaurants. It was always something to chat about when he received an occasional call from his son. John never wanted to give his son the impression that he regretted leaving Harrogate. He did wonder whether he attended these dining groups in order to appear as though he was having a better life in Hove than he was. John often thought about his late wife and what advice she would give him. Life was so much easier when June was alive. John never had to do much thinking about anything. June had him organised and sorted. Now she was gone he felt guilty that he had taken her for granted. His life had been so peaceful and content. He found he had too much time to dwell on matters and too many hours to fill. He was afraid of growing into an old man who did nothing. He wished he had been aware that growing older was no guarantee of being wiser and comfortable in your own skin. When he was younger and working hard in his law practice, he never seemed to do as much thinking about life as he did now. He had time on his hands now and felt to some degree that he had lost his purpose in life. Apart from going to the cinema, Jazz, fine food and wine, John did not have a hobby which would absorb many of his waking hours. He had friends in Harrogate who were steam railway enthusiasts, coin collectors and golfers, but none of these activities really appealed to him. Maria had suggested that he joined the Hove Croquet Club. He had gone to one of their drop-in sessions and couldn’t really see the point.

 Maria was good for him. She often checked in on him and made suggestions about his appearance and how he could manage better on a day-to-day basis in his apartment. She had encouraged him to get a cleaner and suggested that carpet in a bathroom was a bad idea. Maria had recommended that his wardrobe needed an update and had taken him shopping. He knew she had no shortage of male friends and he knew that some of them were lovers. Maria seemed to know what she wanted and knew how to get it too. He finished his night-cap and got himself ready for bed. It was a chilly night and he was glad to be in his warm bed. As he drifted off to sleep he thought about the observatory scene in the film. He wished life was more like a film, as long as there was a happy ending. He felt grateful for a friend like Maria who sat through a film which she would never have chosen to see, just to do him a favour. He knew some people found her outspoken and contrary but he focussed on her kindness and her beauty.

copyright@ Gerry Rose