copyright@ Gerry Rose

 She had agreed to go to the cinema with John. The film would not have been her first choice. She liked films about serious subjects. Frivolous films about goings on in tinsel town would usually be high on her ‘to be avoided at all costs’ list. Tonight she had definitely been doing John a favour. He had sounded so down in the dumps when he rang her. He had moved to Hove to be near his son who lives in Brighton with his wife and 2 children. However, things had not turned out to be as John had imagined. John was a widower. At 78 he was the last of a generation of men who had firm ideas about a range of subjects. He had a strong sense of duty and believed in self-discipline and respect. He had expected to see a lot more of his son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren since moving from Yorkshire, but sadly this was not proving to be the case.

 Maria is fond of John, she had met him at a ‘Join The Hove Creatives’ session. This is a Meetup group which meets in cafes. All sorts of different kinds of artists and creatives come along. John writes witty irreverent poetry and limericks. Maria likes to sketch with pencils and charcoal. People are free to do all sorts of creative activities during the sessions which are held once a month usually in the Café Rust or the Sunshine Books, Art and Coffee café in Hove. Some do watercolours, others are writing graphic novels. One rather aggressive woman does felting and watching her stab the wool into shape is rather scary. She told Maria that she took up felting in order to have an outlet for the anger she feels about her ex-husband. Maria was careful never to sit next to this woman.

 Maria knows she is a sort of Marmite person. You either love or hate Maria. When she moved to Hove from St Albans 6 years ago, she thought Brighton and Hove was going to be a tolerant place. She soon learned that there are acceptable and unacceptable views and beliefs which are tolerated in Brighton in particular. Hove is far less politically correct. People in Hove have learned to keep their conservative views to themselves. They know how to find like-minded people and they know when not to express a view on certain topics. It is no coincidence that there are very few vegan restaurants in Hove. Maria is never going to keep her opinions to herself. She doesn’t mind falling out with certain people. She cannot tolerate champagne socialists in particular. Maria often feels like a fish out of water and she thinks this is due to the fact that she was born and raised in a suburb of Paris. She came to work in England as an au pair at the age of 18 and never returned to France. She met a rather fiery Irish man in a pub in Camden one night and that sealed her fate.

 Maria toys with the idea of returning to France but her two children are very Anglo Irish and have spent more time in Cork City than Paris. They both speak fluent French and are also rather outspoken.

 Maria sat through La La Land and was thankful that the cinema at the Komedia had a bar and let you take wine in with you. John had insisted on buying a good French Sancerre. She enjoyed the opening scenes but found the rest of the film to be predictable. She knew the message was meant to be ‘follow your dream’. However she felt she detected undertones of ‘every woman is really just looking for the perfect man to complete’ them vibes. The Seb character was not a particularly appealing one. Maria thought he was petulant and mediocre. She could get a sniff of ‘we love Black Americans’ too. When in reality many white Americans don’t. The Mia character was a bit too manufactured for Maria’s taste. Maria didn’t feel it truly depicted what women really had to do to get parts in a film. There was no sight of a casting couch. Still on a cold February night the film did provide a bit of colour and the wine was good. Maria could tell that John was enjoying the film as he was tapping his feet in time with the music. She knew he liked Jazz. It was a small price to pay to cheer him up.

Afterwards as they walked to their bus stop. Maria asked John if he had enjoyed the film.

‘Oh yes love. It was so colourful and those two put a lot of work into that film. Do you know that the freeway into Los Angeles was actually closed so they could film that opening scene.’

‘I can imagine the locals were less than happy, but it was in fact the best scene in the entire film.’

‘Oh and those scenes at the Observatory were magical and the jazz was superb.’

‘Yes but it was fundamentally a whole pile of tosh though!’

‘I think you are the only person to think that Maria. It has had fantastic reviews.’

‘Yes but don’t you think we are told what is good and what is not these days?’

‘I think quality, is quality in my opinion.’

‘Ah but John you love people who dream!’

‘Haven’t you ever had a dream Maria?’

‘I haven’t really ever had time for dreams, I have always been too busy getting on with life.’

‘It’s never too late love.’

‘I think life just happens John and you can try and think you are in control, but I don’t really believe we have as much control as we think we have.’

‘Do you believe in fate then?’

‘To a degree yes. Oh don’t get me wrong there are people who live like they have a death wish. They do foolish things and wonder why the outcome is so bad.’

‘We have all met a few people like that.’

‘Yes and I do think what you put in, usually influences the outcome. In my opinion successful people are seldom lazy.’

‘Some people do have tremendous bad luck and how ever much they try the outcome is usually bad for them.’

‘Reminds me of another film-The Pursuit of Happiness.’

‘Oh I don’t think I have watched that one.’

‘Well you should. Look my bus is here. See you soon John and take care.’

‘Mine is not far behind. Text me when you are safely indoors.’

‘Wilco! Thanks for a lovely evening.’

 Maria waved John goodbye as the number 1 bus headed for her New Church Road apartment. Her 3-bedroom flat was modern and convenient. It wasn’t the most attractive looking apartment block, but Maria knew that there were always compromises in life. The service charge was reasonable and the lift was well maintained. She felt she had future proofed her life. She was only 61, but she had watched her mother grow frail and struggle to climb the stairs of her apartment block outside Paris. When Maria reached 60, she resigned from her NHS post took her pension and started a part-time private psychotherapy practise. She rented a clinic room which was only a short walk from the flat. It had been the right decision for her. There was no shortage of clients, despite the proliferation of every kind of therapist in Brighton and Hove. Unfortunately anyone can call themselves a Psychotherapist. It was Life Coaches which really irritated Maria. Any fool could complete an online course and set themselves up as having the skills to help someone change their life. The term Coach is unregulated too. Maria thought that Coaching had become too fashionable. Since retiring, Maria had found herself reflecting on aging and society’s view of the elderly. She had also spent a lot of time reflecting on her own views and expectations about aging. At times she felt that she struggled to come to terms with how she should embrace this stage of her life. She often found herself observing older women and feeling a degree of panic. How would she cope with being 70, 80, 90?

 Maria valued her friendship with John. It would never be a romantic relationship but it was good to have a kind male friend. Maria had plenty of female friends, but at times it was good to spend time with intelligent men. Her female single friends were intelligent too. Hove was full of single remarkable women but unfortunately many of them were rather bitter. It was all too common at a gathering of women aged 60+ to hear them slating men. However it was also common to see some women fawning over men who they felt might be single and available. It struck her that the women of Hove were either happy to be single and did not feel they were missing out by living alone, or desperate to find a man. She had noticed that many were not very discerning, any man who would release them from the endless hours spent alone, or with women like themselves would do. Occasionally a woman sat in both camps. Maria felt she was somewhere in the middle. Maria did work with couples and she knew that the grass is not always greener on the other side. She knew that anyone who is unhappy with themselves, is unlikely to find the happiness they seek in a relationship.

 Growing older is hard for everyone, whether you are part of a couple, or single.  Maria thought about John’s belief that moving to Hove would be a whole new chapter, but he had ended up feeling disappointed with how it had turned out. Maria felt that life was frequently, a series of hopes and expectations followed by disappointments. She knew that to many this sounded cynical, but Maria felt that she was simply one of life’s realists.

 When she got home she texted John to tell him that she was safe and yet again thanked him for inviting her to the cinema and the wine. She made herself a cup of chamomile tea and got ready for bed.