Prologue

HOVE ALONE

 It is a truth universally acknowledged amongst rational minded divorced women of a certain age who are in possession of their own homes and a comfortable income, that they do not really want a man to enter their well-ordered lives and fuck it up!

 However, women in their 60s and 70s have been brought up to believe that you are no one unless someone loves you. For some the love of their children, a cat or a small needy dog is enough. There are always a few divorced women who allow hope to triumph over reality.

 When Jilly Turner moved from Norfolk to Hove in 2007 she had no expectation of meeting like minded women. She moved to Hove because she couldn’t afford to move back to London. She knew that Brighton and Hove had a lot to offer. She would enjoy visiting the Artists Open Houses and attend events at the fringe. She knew there was a lively Meetup scene. She felt confident that she would find plenty to do.

 Jilly was pleasantly surprised to find that Hove was a sanctuary for bitter divorced women like herself.

 Hove Alone is a set of linked short stories. It will introduce you to women who may seem familiar to you. It will include tales of totally helpless idiots of men. It aims to challenge the myth that couples are happier than singletons. I hope that for some it will open the debate about the happiness myth.

 All Jilly ever wanted was everything to be perfect. She always felt that if she tried just a little bit harder, one day everything would be absolutely perfect in her world.

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A MOVING DAY

A Moving Day

2017

 The removal men arrived promptly at 8am.  Jilly took one look at the man who introduced himself as Terry and knew she was going to have a hard time with him. Jilly thought Terry looked about 5 years older than her and she knew at once that he was a typical man from Norfolk who didn’t quite approve of women calling the shots. He wore his cocky arrogance with misguided pride. The removal company based in Diss had been by far the cheapest. The Brighton based companies were almost double and past experiences had dissuaded her from using the company who moved them into the barn.

 Another much younger and rather handsome man was the next to emerge. He too introduced himself and Jilly was intrigued by where Jan originated from, and she knew it wasn’t Norfolk. Another 5 men got out in total. This was the packing team. Terry told her that all she was to do was sit back and let them get on with packing her possessions and dismantling furniture. Of course, they would appreciate regular supplies of tea, coffee and biscuits. Jilly had moved house enough times to know that all removal men (to date she had never met a removal woman) need copious amounts of sugary beverages and a plentiful supply of biscuits. However, this was the first time she had moved on her own. She could not help but think back to October 2000 when they had all moved into the barn. Things had been so different then. Fate had not been kind to her.

 Two of the men were really no more than boys. They were probably apprentices and she wondered about their backgrounds and thought about her son and daughter and the advantages they had had. Moving to Norfolk had been about following a dream. It was such a shame that it had turned out to be more of a nightmare.

 She did what Terry had advised and sat on the sofa whilst the men got on with the job in hand. Unfortunately, Terry wanted to chat and do very little work. He told her tales about the people he had moved over the years. He had moved the rich and famous. Jilly did not feel that she would fit into this category but let him chat on. He told her about a certain soap opera star who expected the men to do her washing-up before they could pack her kitchen which was full of dirty dishes. There was a footballer who did not flinch as they packed a shed load of sex toys, some of which had obviously never been washed. Terry’s tales and indiscretions knew no bounds. He dropped names like confetti and Jilly learnt more about some people’s habits than she cared to know. Whilst she didn’t actually want to hear his stories, she found she was unable to summon the will to stop him. He said she’d be amazed by the number of people who expected you to strip their beds of their dirty sheets before they dismantled the beds. Jilly had been up since dawn stripping beds and tended to agree with Terry on this one.

 Despite having bought more milk than she usually drank in a week, she noticed that on the fifth tea and coffee run of the morning she was running low. She rather welcomed escaping from the house just as the men were packing her glasses and crockery, she really couldn’t bear to witness a breakage. The thought of having a dinner service which was incomplete would be too much to cope with. She really could not abide the fashion for unmatched items on the dinner table. Not that she entertained very much now. Her life had changed but she wasn’t ready to get rid of her champagne flutes which had been used at the christenings, her large collection of Waterford crystal glasses, Irish linen tablecloths and fish kettles.

 In the car driving out of the village she passed people she was anxious to put out of her head, like the nosey Mrs Young who was always asking her what Alan was doing these days and why was she moving. She spotted Sara Smart who always accepted her invitations to various events, but never once did Jilly get invited to any event at the Smart household. Jilly was aware that this had probably been a blessing in disguise, as she was aware that the Smart’s décor was not so smart and Jilly never could abide an abundance of Ikea furniture in a house. As she drove passed the pub she did think about the times that her neighbours would arrange to meet up for a drink, or a meal but would never consider inviting her. An attractive divorced woman in a village is never going to be welcome and will always be a pariah. She was on no one’s dinner party list now. She knew that many would consider this to be some sort of victory. However, being excluded from the annual mystery meal which was for couples living at their own properties was a tad harsh and definitely send out the message that village life did not want singletons to think that they belonged. The four-mile trip to the shop was proof if she needed it that she was doing the right thing by moving away from here. When she arrived back Terry wanted to chat again.

‘I always says I can tell a lot about someone by moving them.’

‘I’m sure you can Terry’ She didn’t want to rise to the bait, but she had the feeling once Terry had a story to tell there was no stopping him.

‘You’re a perfectionist aren’t you Mrs Turner.’

He stood back after saying this as if he expected applause. Jilly decided to just smile and change the subject. She realised that Terry liked to relieve the boredom of his job by gathering information about the people he moved. He must surely have enough material for a book by now.

‘So, Terry when will the packing be finished?’

‘And you like to be in control.’

‘Terry unless something has changed, I am in control I have paid for your company’s services and would like to know when the packing will be finished.’

Jilly knew that Terry would find her tone offensive.

‘We will be finished by 5 pm and we will be back at 8am. I have to say that whoever priced this job underestimated the cubic space and we need another van.’

‘I have one full sized van ordered.’

‘Ah yes but let me tell you that we need another small van, or some of your stuff will have to stay. I have already informed the office and they want you to call them.’

Jilly couldn’t help but wonder if this was entirely true, but what could she do under the circumstances. The expensive Brighton company had measured the cubic capacity and if they had underestimated it, she had little choice.

 She couldn’t help but feel that yet again her bad fairy was interfering and sending her more challenges. From an early age Jilly had felt that there was always someone or something meddling with her life. She knew this was entirely irrational, but too many things had happened to her. She always tried to stay positive and her motto was always to try harder and everything would work out for the best. She had no respect for people who gave up.

 Jilly kept away from Terry after phoning the removal office and having spoken to a rather superior woman called Penny. Penny who had an accent which definitely belonged in Berkshire informed her that the Brighton company had indeed under estimated the cubic footage. Jilly had got rid of plenty of things but moving from a large spacious property into a small, terraced house was challenging. Add the fact that Jilly thought she was the family archivist and she should not really have been surprised. She did not feel that an extra £200 was that bad and willingly paid over the phone. Terry looked smug and self-satisfied when she told him that the extra van would arrive in the morning.

 Jilly told the crew that she was going to visit a few friends to say goodbye but would be back in one hour. She drove to Diss and sat in a café and drank tea and had a piece of cake. She always loved to people watch. Diss was a pleasant place and the people were pretty normal for Norfolk. It was a place where you still saw old farmers wearing caps meandering through the town to buy things that they didn’t produce. She could always spot farmers’ wives whose ample frames were built on the produce they did produce. There was an easiness about the way of life. No one seemed to feel the need to stand out and demand to be noticed. People were happy in their skins mostly. There would be things that she missed about Norfolk. Whilst there was always a steady flow of old people retiring to totally unsuitable properties and areas. She did like the real Norfolk people. The jokes about the gene pool were always cruel but she felt neighbouring Suffolk was actually far worse. She rather enjoyed hearing that Essex man and woman were invading Suffolk. Soon her Norfolk years would be over. She wondered what her Hove years would be like. She hoped that fate would be kind to her.

 The removal men finished packing around 4 pm. Terry was keen to keep repeating to Jilly that he had been entirely right about the need for another van. Jilly was so pleased to see the van depart with the packers and Terry. They would be back with the vans to remove all of her furniture and boxes at 8 am sharp. She looked forward to a time when Terry would be a distant memory.

 Jilly had left a cool box in her car with of all the things she would need for her final night in Norfolk. It all felt very strange as she walked around her home.   It was actually happening; she would be leaving the lifestyle she had endured since the children had left home and now a new era was about to begin. She had planned this new life for so long but now it was a reality. Her cool box included all of her favourite foods and she felt this was very fitting. She would start with a can of premixed gin and tonic. She toasted her future. She did feel a little proud of herself for doing this all on her own. She had a tub of olives which she dipped into savouring the tangy taste which always reminded her of holidays in Italy.

 The oven was on and the artisan pizza would not take long to heat up. Whilst she would have preferred a more exotic dish one of her curries, she recognised that something quick and easy would be better. Her iPad was playing Andrea Bocelli.  Following the gin and tonic she poured herself a glass of soave. Even though it was in one of her plastic picnic glasses she still felt it tasted great.

 Charlotte had suggested she might prefer to stay the night with her, but Jilly felt she needed to spend the last night at the house on her own. The pizza went down well with a glass of Malbec, surprisingly. She drifted to bed at ten and set her alarm for 6 am she would not give Terry the pleasure of telling anyone that her bed had not been stripped and the house was left dirty. As she lay in bed she heard the various owls calling and realised that her life would never be the same again. She had wanted this, but it didn’t stop her wondering for a few minutes before drifting off if she was making a mistake. Her property in Norfolk was substantial and the house in Hove was tiny. Would she look back one day and think she must have been crazy to have made this move?

 She woke before the alarm went off and quickly showered and dressed. She stripped her bed and put the dirty linen in a bin bag. She took one last walk around her field and tried to put the memories to rest. Like many aspects of her life they seemed to have a definite start and finish. She could not imagine what it would be like to live in the same place all of your life and never move.

 Terry and the crew arrived at 8am sharp. He greeted Jilly and said that they reckoned they would be packed and on the road by 4pm.

 ‘I hope the kettle is on and there are plenty of biscuits.’

Jilly knew that Terry needed to project the image to his men that he was in control. She could tolerate Terry. She was concerned that the contents of her barn were not going to fit in her house in Hove. Despite months of decluttering and getting rid of furniture and other stuff she knew that there was very little storage in her Victorian terrace. Jilly had to calm herself and resign herself to the fact that as long as the stuff could be offloaded in Hove she would have time to sort it and if necessary sell or donate what did not fit. Jilly was struck by the fact that a woman living on their own had to be self-reliant and could not have an attack of the vapours. She conjured up some mantras to keep her going. 

 By 4pm everything would be packed. She would make sure the barn was clean and then she would drive to her new life.